Your Friends Can Change Your Salaries. Really !


  1. Anthony Robbins said that you are the expectation of your friends. Nothing is further from truth. As social beings, we tend to conform to the norm. As such, we tend to follow the behaviours of the people close to us. In the process, we share beliefs, attitudes and ultimately values. These three elements interplay in our lives to drive our behaviours and finally the outcomes of our lives. Therefore, who you choose as friends affect who you are. 
  2. We must then choose our friends carefully if we care about how they affect our outcomes. At least our inner circle of friends. This can be the closest 5 to 10 people whom we share a lot. We can be friendly to everyone but those whom we allow to be into the inner circle has to go through a more stringent filtering process.
  3. As an experiment, it is interesting to note that if you take 10 of your very best friends, estimate their salaries, then total their salaries and divide back by 10 you will get back your salary ! many people have done this to be amazed at how close the figure can be. So if you want to change how much you earn, change your inner friends !   That is how much your friends can affect the results in your life.
  4. If we analyse this phenomenon, it is actually logical. When we seek advise from our circle of friends, we actually seek the quality of their advise. Imagine if you want to be a successful businessman but only have friends who are salaried workers. That is definitely seeking advise in the wrong place. By the same token, if want to be a millionaire, you must have at least one millionaire friend. It is amazing in my work, conducting seminars, when I asked participants how many people who want to be millionaires almost all hands will go up. But when I asked how many have millionaire friends, almost none will show their hands. 
  5. As such, we need to choose our friends in line with our life purpose. Unless you live on a deserted island, you friends will further or block you towards achieving your objectives. 
  6. As a general guideline, choose friends who are better than you. I read somewhere, if we hire people who are better than us, we create an organisation of giants. If we choose people who are less than us, we create organisation of dwarfs. Of course one must have the strength, confidence and a sense of inner security to do this. When we have friends who are better than us, they inadvertently through thinking and behaviour will change us. 
  7. It takes strength, a lot of strength to accept criticism from friends. But criticism is expensive nowadays. Especially among friends because we want to be polite to each other. However, true friends who truly care will give their opinions as they see fit. And because we have too much blinders (our own experience, attitude and EGO), we really need to listen and change in order to move forward in our lives. It is this type of friends whom we must keep if we want to be successful. It is much like in the area of customer service. It is the complaining customers who we must love for they tell us what is wrong and give us a second chance as compared to the "nice' customers who never nag or complain but also never comes back !

  1. We must differentiate being friendly and having a lot of friends for that also affects the results of our lives.



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